I’m sure we’ve all seen the New Year’s posts about cutting people off who no longer bring good things into your life, and this is my take on those memes. A common thing you will hear in motivational works is that we are the culmination of the top 5 people we usually hang around with. So, if you’re hanging out with wasteoids, even if you have been friends for years, it might be time to do some cleaning out of your friend’s list. Here’s how to identify these trash humans and get them out of your bubble. Your bubble is an important part of your personal, sacred space and “good vibes only” is a great rule of thumb (unless it’s your bestfriend who’s feeling really depressed for a little bit; in that case, showing up with weed, hot chocolate, and a hug, is always acceptable).
- The Leeches: Do you have a friend who only hits you up when they need something, be it a ride or for you to spot them a few bucks until they get paid? While it’s great to help out a friend in need on occasion, if they do this frequently (or if they hit you up to borrow more money after forgetting that they already owe you!!!!) get out the scissors, girl. They’re probably a narcissist who will take advantage of anyone and everyone they can, so don’t take it personally. A huge red flag to look for is if other long-time friends have been dropping them like flies; there’s a reason others are cutting them off as well. Snip, Snip, Girl. You know what to do: Be strong and start saying “NO.” Eventually, they’ll get the hint and find someone else to bother. Hopefully, when they have lost all friends and meaning in their lives, they will realize the errors of their ways and try to stop being such selfish jackasses.
- The Fuckbois: Ladies, we need to collectively raise our standards and stop playing around with stupid men who have never, and, more importantly, will never do anything with their lives. You know exactly the type of person I’m talking about; those low-vibration turds who just want to bomchickwawa and party. There’s so much more to life than just getting turnt every night. They probably have a ton of debt due to shitty money decisions (we’ve all made them before, but if they’re not learning from their mistakes and actively trying to change, that’s a glowing neon red flag), a non-running vehicle that’s been sitting in their driveway for a while, and only hit you up after midnight with a “hey girl, what you doing?” trying to come through. Start enjoying the fun of “curving” these types like the boss-ass Queens we know we can be and, if they’re open to it, suggest some attention should be made to their obvious problems with their base chakra, maaan!
- The Lazy, Unmotivated Turds: Do they have a “passion project” they’re always talking about but never actually doing anything to bring their dreams into reality? Are they doing the same shit they were when they were at 15 and now they’re 25? Do they struggle with keeping gainful employment because they never learned how to show up on time or develop a work ethic? Do they constantly criticize “the system” but don’t do anything to change it? Recognizing that we exist for a higher purpose than just paying bills and dying is the first step to changing the world, but if they struggle to get past that first step (or just sit around and whine about how hard things are but never make an effort to better themselves) you should consider cutting them off. It’s 2018: You can take free Ivy-League classes online ( https://medium.freecodecamp.org/ivy-league-free-online-courses-a0d7ae675869 ) and there’s tons of sustainability projects on Pintrest they can try if they really want to be the change they want to see in the world. Excuses are SO 2017.
- People Who Do Cocaine All The Time: Do I really need to go into detail about why you shouldn’t hang out with these types? GOOD. $80 a gram is fucking retarded. Spend your money making better choices, okay kids? Houses in Detroit are going for $1,500 each. FOR AN ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE! MAKE. BETTER. CHOICES.
- Your Ex Boyfriend: Unless he’s still got some of your important shit you desperately need back, there is no reason whatsoever you guys should still be communicating. He’s your ex for a reason. You can’t be ready to meet the person who is absolutely perfect for you, who will give you that whirlwind, rock-your-socks-off relationship you’ve craved your entire life if you’re still hung up on some jackass. You deserve better, girl, and you’re going to get it. This is 2018 and we’re going after everything we’ve ever wanted this year.
Discuss in the comments why you’re cutting someone out of your life this year and why. You don’t have to mention names (Pseudonyms are fine!) if you don’t want to start drama.
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