Okay Colonists, honesty time: How many of us have actually kept a resolution for, at most, a few weeks? One year, I lasted 17 whole days without drinking when I was seriously considering the possibility I might be an alcoholic. Turns out I’m not; just another (at the time) depressed human trying to self-medicate. Fast forward to today, and I can take a shot of whiskey and “be good,” the urge to drink when I’m stressed completely disappeared once I started getting down to the nuts and bolts of why I hated my existence. The long-winded story of how I “fixed” myself we can get into in another edition of this blog; self-improvement is a constant, ongoing thing and that story is still being written on the vibrations of my humble corner of the universe. Today, we’re going to talk about why my resolutions failed in the past and why setting goals might be a better way to change your life in the coming year.
The main reason why my resolutions have failed in the past are that as soon as I mess it up, or it becomes hard, I scrap it and feel guilty about it. We’re human, dude. We’re going to mess up; light cigarettes out of habit, get blackout drunk when we’re stressed, binge eat/cry into the Hagen-Daas when our boyfriends piss us off. Every day is a new opportunity to make things different. If you mess up, start clean the next day, and MOST IMPORTANTLY don’t let guilt stop you. I started actually taking the advice of whiny self help shit like “Greet every day like it’s a new opportunity” and you know what? When you wake up all groggy and depressed, roll your eyes, haul your wook ass into the shower (not sure if this is a lingering thing from a past life, or I just like wallowing in my own stank but I can go a week without a shower without a single fuck to give. However, when I started treating taking a shower like a mini-cleansing ritual and imagining all the weird energy I pick up on during the course of a day just going straight down the drain, I felt much better, emotionally. Seriously, go wash your ass, you’ll feel better. I promise!) and start thinking stuff like “Today, I’m going to be earning some money to get those concert tickets.” instead of “Fuck, I hate work so much I kind of hope today the communist revolution will start because I’d rather stab myself in the eyeball that go wait tables right now. I hate my life, can I just die now?”
We joke about that shit via meme all the time, and it’s great to use a little humor to help make a bad situation seem better, but that mindset is literally killing us. Viewing yourself as a victim of circumstances does nothing for you; starting thinking of yourself as the architect of your reality and things start changing, fast as a whip.
What is something about your life that you would like to change in the New Year? Be specific about it: not “I want to loose weight” but “I want to fit into this outfit again” or “I want to get my blood pressure down so I can get off this medication.” If you need some time to soul-search and think about it, that’s perfectly alright. Anything worth doing will involve some planning- you need a goal that you feel passionate about; something that really sets a fire under you and fits into your long-term vision of where your life is going. (If you don’t really have a plan and am drifting aimlessly from day to day in a passive existence that’s okay- you won’t be the first or the last, and recognizing patterns of apathy in your life is the first step to changing those patterns. Take some time to sit down with a journal or piece of paper and think about what you want to do with your life; what do you love? Is it making art? Is it helping others? Is it sitting on your ass smoking weed? What gives you that “spark” you can turn into a motivating driver to keep you going when times are tough? Don’t feel weird if you have to pray / meditate / eat some acid about it- guidance comes when we ask for it. Seek it with an open heart and see what random inspiration pops into your head. You can chalk it up to the right neurons firing in the right patterns, but I like to think that someone upstairs has my back.)
Once you find that goal, break it down into bite-size steps. The tagline of this blog is “Eating the Elephant of Success, One Dollar at a Time,” Being educated, financially secure, and owning a thriving business(es?) is a lot, but it’s achievable with every little step along the way. I don’t have a concrete lifetime gameplan yet, but I have the next 5 years or so mapped out into small milestones I can hit in weeks, months, etc. Even if you can only come up with a few steps, that’s okay. It’s a place to start, and when you hit those you will be in a better spot than you were at the starting line and, during that achievement process, will see opportunities for the next steps opening up. The main thing I’m getting at here is to find some direction to focus your energy in and not giving up whenever some adversity happens. You can do this. I believe in you, even if nobody else does!
In the comments, list one goal you have for 2018 and a few first steps to achieving it.
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